Friday, June 5, 2009

Whoopi Wants to Get Scary

As if the stuff she's already acted in isn't frightening enough, veteran unfunny comedienne Whoopi Goldberg apparently longs to grace the horror genre with her eyebrowless presence. Here's what she had to say on Wednesday to Contactmusic:

"I've always wanted to do horror. No-one will let me do horror, but I think I'd be the best monster because no-one would suspect me. I'd be under the couch, they would say, 'Oh, there's Whoopi' or 'There's that character that looks like Whoopi.' But they'd never suspect I would reach out and grab them and eat the entire family. No one! Because people think I'm very sweet and very nice."

It's true, Whoopi has never appeared in a horror movie in 27 years in the business (unless you count a tiny bit part in Bordello of Blood). I suppose the closest thing would be Ghost, which isn't close at all. And which, along with The Color Purple, is one of the only watchable things she was ever in. I vote she stays on The View rather than sullying my fave genre with her tiny sunglasses-wearing, Frank Langella-loving self. Thoughts?

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For those who haven't seen it yet, I've once again invaded Day of the Woman with another Woman of the Week entry. This time out, it's Gloria Holden, better known as Dracula's Daughter! To enjoy my unmistakable prose style, go here.