This week's top 10 is pretty appropriate, considering that right now where I'm at, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut (thank you, Good Morning Vietnam). Love and romance may not be the first things that come to mind when one thinks of horror, but the fact remains that the genre has given us some of the most unforgettable pairings in screen history. So join me, won't you, as I take a look at some of horror's most memorable lovers...
10. When a Wolf Loves a Woman... An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Yes, he's an American stuck in a foreign land. Yes, he's recently been turned into a vicious lycanthrope. Yes, he's being visited by the mutilated corpse of his best friend. But David Kessler is also shacked up with super-hot nurse Alex Price and getting a steady diet of limey lovin'. Maybe it doesn't totally balance things out, but hey, you can't have everything.
9. My Demon Lover... Hellraiser (1987)
What would a Clive Barker story be with no sex? And in Barker's directorial debut, it's Frank and his sister-in-law Julia that provide all the illicit goings-on. Folks, this is lust that lasts beyond the grave, as is shown when Julia is willing to murder poor sap after poor sap, simply for a chance at one more romp. We look at Frank and see a walking rump roast with eyes; she sees desire personified. Love truly is blind!
8. The Love That Dares not Speak Its Name The Hunger (1983)
So taken by Dr. Sarah Roberts is the ancient vampire Miriam, that instead of using her help to reverse the aging process of her vampire lover John, she decides to replace him with her. And it's a beautiful coupling--until, of course, Sarah discovers what she's become, and is compelled by extreme hunger to kill her own boyfriend. Those types of things typically put strain on any relationship, undead or otherwise.
7. They Wanna Do Bad Things... True Blood (2007-present)
If you're looking for that other vampire couple on here, you're on the wrong blog. Today's coolest canoodling nosferatu is Bill Compton, who alongside his mortal beloved Sookie Stackhouse charts a treacherous course through the sex-drenched wilderness that is Bon-Temps, Louisiana. Will Bill eventually turn Sookie into one of his own kind? Or will she will be swayed to join Team Eric? Stay tuned to everyone's favorite horror soap to find out...
6. This Ain't No Chick FlickCemetery Man (1994)
Before he became a go-to romantic comedy leading man for the remainder of the 1990s, Rupert Everett, as Francesco Dellamorte, got his groove on with the amazing Anna Falchi, known here only as She. Yes, knowing all we now know about Mr. Everett might make this love affair a bit unconvincing, but the smoldering scenes between these two go a long way toward the suspension of disbelief.
5. He Would Do Anything for LoveThe Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
Believed dead, the mute Dr. Anton Phibes exacts a methodical, bloody vengeance against the team of surgeons who failed to save the life of his beloved wife Victoria. Even the allure of his quite fetching assistant Vulnavia is not enough to sway the unflappable Phibes from his string of elaborate, musically themed homicides. Now that's dedication. Screw "Till death do us part"--for Phibes, that was just the beginning.
4. They're Altogether OokyThe Addams Family (1964-66)
It was a tough call between them and Herman & Lily, but in the end, the unbridled lust of the Addamses won out over the Munsters' more bourgeois, domestic setup. At the center of the world's creepiest family, Gomez and Morticia actually have a healthier relationship than any of the supposedly "normal" couples they come into contact with. I guess that was the whole point, wasn't it? Gosh, I'm thick...
3. Beauty and the Beast King Kong (1933)
Sure, one of them was a completely unwilling participant. And yes, they were completely physically incompatible. But hell, couldn't most of us say at least one of those things about our own parents? Kong and Fay Wray is one of cinema's most famous romantic entanglements--even if it did lead to the poor lovestruck lug's total downfall in the end. Welcome to the club, big guy.
2. Love Never Dies Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
For all it's flaws, Francis Ford Coppola's take on the Bram Stoker classic gave us what may be the most powerful love affair ever seen in a horror film. Yes, it's a completely apocryphal addition to what was supposed to be a "completely faithful" adaptation of Stoker's novel, but nevertheless, Gary Oldman's Dracula and Winona Ryder's Mina Harker have a strong onscreen chemistry that justifies itself.
1. The Monster Demands a Mate! Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
They're only on screen together for a matter of minutes, and she's completely revolted by the big guy, but none of that matters. Boris Karloff's Creature and Elsa Lanchester's Bride will always be horror filmdom's most memorable, iconic and indelible couple. It's a pairing that has fascinated all of us for generations, burned into our minds like some kind of Jungian archetype. Maybe it strikes a chord within us on some basic level, the need to be loved, and the pain of rejection.