YEAR ONE

Written by Harold Ramis, Gene Stupnitsky and Eisenberg
Directed by Harold Ramis
Starring: Jack Black, Michael Cera, Oliver Platt, David Cross and Hank Azaria


Zed: I’m sorry; I wasn’t listening. All my brain blood was in my boner.

I can’t be certain whether YEAR ONE refers to the first year in history in which this Harold Ramis directed film takes place or if it refers to the year of film schooling that was finished by this staff behind the cameras on this film. YEAR ONE, in which Jack Black and Michael Cera wander from one biblical story to the next for no apparent reason other than that being what is written and therefore what is so, is occasionally amusing but only really because of how amateurish it all plays out. Logic was apparently not discovered in our first year here, as it makes no appearance in this film at any point. With Black and Cera leading the way though, the buffoonery with which every presence carries itself is enough to get us through the year. How humanity survived with these idiots in charge is beyond me though.


Zed (Black) is a hunter and Oh (Cera) is a gatherer. Zed isn’t any good at his job and Oh shouldn’t be any good at his job as that’s really woman’s work when you think about it long enough. Personally, I feel that both of these jobs should be genderless but this was the first year of history; women didn’t have Madonna or Oprah or Miley Cyrus to show them that they could do anything yet. Zed’s ignorant bumbling and lack of respect for authority get him booted out of the tribe and he goes Jerry Maguire on them, asking who will go with him to start a new tribe. You will never guess who goes with. OK, it’s Oh. Big shock. They never quite realize their dreams of a new utopia as they constantly just run into meddlesome biblical characters, from Cain and Abel (David Cross and Paul Rudd) to Abraham and Isaac (Hank Azaria and Christopher Mintz-Plasse). They all look absolutely ridiculous with their long wigs and loincloths; it makes it hard to take any of it seriously but it is a comedy, I guess. Maybe if I had been laughing more, I would have been able to see that.

YEAR ONE feels unfinished at times. One moment, Oh is being strangled by a snake and then, cut. Oh is back at camp, safe and sound. There is not even a mention of how he evaded what seemed like certain death seconds earlier. He’s safe now and that’s what matters. Poor Oh though – before long he ends up in another perilous situation, this time involving a cougar. Just when you think he is going to be mauled to death, he is suddenly back at camp again. He’s got a few scratches though so at least we know something went down, but what? Did Ramis think that we wouldn’t care how he got out of these scenarios or was that part of the joke? It would fall in line with the film’s random and oblivious sense of humour though. This would be the same irrational approach that doesn’t explain how Oh manages that perfectly smooth shave when everyone else is scruffy or how a couple of the ladies managed to find tinted contact lenses back then. Did I mention that everyone talks as though they grew up watching television?


While sometimes funny, YEAR ONE is more uneven and odd above anything else. Black plays it cool and takes a strong lead but Cera, while still unavoidably adorable, is beginning to wear his awkwardness a little thin. They make for an amusing enough pair though and it is their combined charisma that gives us the strength to look away from the ludicrously excessive performances from the supporting players (with the exception of Oliver Platt – hilarious). If this really were as introductory as the first year of existence would have it be, I would be more inclined to be more forgiving but these are all seasoned players. This is not amateur night at the caveman improv after all; this is a major Hollywood production. Perhaps had Ramis drawn some parallels between then and now to show how little progress has actually been made in the many years since the first, it might have felt somewhat more purposeful. Instead, it will just be forgotten like history itself.

KUNG FU PANDA

Written by Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger
Directed by Mark Osborne & John Stevenson
Voices by Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Ian McShane, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu and David Cross


Shifu: We don’t wash our pits in the sacred pool of tears.

Fortune cookie wisdom is imparted throughout the colorful KUNG FU PANDA. Some of it makes no sense out of context but it all amounts to some very simple, very basic advice about believing in the warrior within. “There are no accidents,” claims the coolest of Zen master turtles after a panda drops from the sky at just the right moment to be deemed the next Dragon Warrior. There are especially no accidents when no risk is taken. That panda is of course the panda from the title and from the moment this lazy emotional eater is “discovered” as the warrior that will go on to save the kingdom, you know exactly how the entire thing will play out. Po (voiced by an increasingly subtle Jack Black) will drown in doubt while he trains for something he doesn’t believe himself capable of; the other animals will badger him into giving up; but eventually, he will find his inner kung fu master and save the day. Subsequently and expectedly, reviewers will call it out for its lack of originality. That’s how it goes.


So it isn’t so original. No big deal. What it lacks in originality, it makes up for in style and humour. Relatively new directors, Mark Osborne and John Stevenson have created a multihued ancient China that moves with stealth precision between enchantment and explosive energy. Its inhabitants are geese and rabbits that live their lives in the shadow of lore. As long as all is peaceful, then they can blissfully enjoy their noodle soups in the town square and if anything should happen to collapse that peace, then they have the kung fu specialized Furious Five – a tiger, a monkey, a crane, a snake and oddly enough, a mantis – to protect them from whatever evil lurks. No one member of the community has more faith in these five than Po. His idolatry of these heroes extends to numerous posters on his walls and action figures by his bed. Black plays Po as the hardcore geek that hides his enthusiasm and secret desire to be a part of it all in fear of being ridiculed for wanting the impossible. Po is that unfortunate fat kid from school that wants to hang with all the cool kids, hates that he’s stuck working at the local fast food joint after school and knows that there’s nothing he can do about it. Wait; was I that kid? Is that why I love him?


KUNG FU PANDA is overloaded with voice talent. Any scene with Po is usually hilarious as I guess Black knows what it’s like to be the unlikely guy hanging with the in crowd. However, when he isn’t in the picture, the delivery from the majority of the A-list cast is often bland and purely functional. Po, and his kung fu trainer, Shifu (a frustrated and disgruntled, yet still minutely optimistic Dustin Hoffman) trade quips with fervor and weight and make for much giddiness. The Furious Five, not so much. Considering they’re voiced by actors as varied as Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan and Seth Rogen, you would think they would provide for plenty of conflicting antics but they end up reduced to nothing more than another obstacle for Po to overcome. I’m no kung fu expert but I’m pretty sure gossiping and bad mouthing members of the team when they aren’t there (and sometimes even when they’re right in front of them) is not part of the package. Our heroes aren’t always what we hope they will be when we finally find ourselves face to face with them but these five could have certainly been truer to their furious form if some element of development had been given to them.


Still, despite its unevenness and seemingly simple approach, KUNG FU PANDA is great wisdom wrapped in even greater fun and often breathtaking animation. Sometimes the simplest of lessons are the ones that are hardest to learn. (Now I’m a fortune cookie.) Perhaps the subtlest lesson the film passes on is to relinquish your control over the destiny of your own life. Po never thought he would find himself surrounded by his heroes, getting the chance to realize his life long dream of becoming a kung fu master but here he is suddenly. Master Shifu never thought he would be training such a useless lump but here his is as well. It is only when each character let go of their egos and expectations that they saw how to make their situation work. Shedding your own expectation for KUNG FU PANDA to be something more than what it really is will allow for the good times intended to be had and an unexpected tranquility to seep into your mind.