DRAG ME TO HELL

Written by Ivan Raimi and Sam Raimi
Directed by Sam Raimi
Starring Alison Lohman, Justin Long and Lorna Raver


I just recently left a job at a bank and after seeing DRAG ME TO HELL, I sure am glad I did. This lovely, young woman, Christine Brown (Alison Lohman), tries so hard. She goes to work every day and does her best to impress her boss so she can get that promotion. She bakes family cake recipes from scratch to bring with her when she meets her boyfriend’s parents for the first time. She’s just trying to carve out a little spot for herself in the world. And then one day, in order to show her boss that she can make the hard decisions necessary in these trying economic times, she refuses to give an ill, elderly lady a third extension on her mortgage payments. Christine chooses personal career growth over human compassion and subsequently, Christine must go straight to hell.


The elderly lady is a Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver, who is absolutely repulsive and terrifying at all times). She comes from gypsies and she will have none of this behaviour. She knows that Christine could have done right by her had she really wanted to and so decides that Christine no longer deserves to live. In a turn that isn’t nearly taken as often as it should these days, Mrs. Ganush places a curse on Christine. The curse, as it is explained to Christine by a psychic she stumbles upon named Rham Jas (Dileep Rao), will find her tormented by a demon called the Lamia for three days. After these three days, the Lamia will return to take her soul to hell. It seems to me that Christine’s life already resembled hell but I guess it can always be worse. (You would be agreeing with me too if you saw what it was like for Christine to have Justin Long for a boyfriend – what a boring sap he is).


It sounds as though I’m poking fun but that’s only because DRAG ME TO HELL is a lot of unexpected fun. Raimi doesn’t cheap out on jump out of your seat scares that are usually accompanied by involuntary screeches but he does so a knowing admiration for classical horror conventions. Raimi may have been swinging along for years in the SPIDER-MAN franchise but he goes back to his roots with this one. He plays with sounds that are so intensely jarring, they would scare the deaf. He plays with shadows because he knows that what we cannot see is so much more frightening than what we can. Raimi plays, period. He knows, as well as his brother, Ivan, who co-wrote the screenplay, that scaring people is supposed to be fun. How else can one explain how something as simple as a handkerchief can become one of the most menacing devices I have ever seen? DRAG ME TO HELL is disgusting to watch and will gross you out but you’ll delight in every fright and desperately want the next to come. I don’t recall ever having as much going to hell.



FUN FACT: This was supposed to be Ellen Page's first post-JUNO role but she had to drop out due to scheduling conflicts.

SPIDER-MAN 3

Written by Sam Raimi and Ivan Raimi
Directed by Sam Raimi



Mary Jane Watson: Everybody needs help. Even Spiderman.

As far as I’m concerned, you can drown those pirates at sea and banish that ogre to a land even further away because there’s only one sequel that matters this summer. SPIDERMAN 3 has finally swung through oncoming traffic and in and around the tallest buildings to land in theatres as the flagship film to launch the box office into summer. Legions of Spidey enthusiasts have had their tickets for weeks while critics have been waiting to review the latest installment in one the most successful and well-received film franchises in history. With expectations this high, its hard to imagine how Spidey could possible satisfy anyone fully. Yet despite the increasingly loud whispers of disappointment waiting to welcome SPIDERMAN 3, this critic slash Spidey enthusiast had himself one heck of a web slingin’ time and he’s not afraid to say it.


In the third, and what is sadly not likely the last in the Spiderman series, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman (Tobey Maguire) finds himself on top of the world. New York loves him; Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) loves him; and subsequently, Spidey ends up loving himself a little more than he should. High on his own ego, he decides to make everything perfect in his life and ask MJ to marry him. Simple enough a concept but things get a little sticky when he has to deal with his uncle’s killer escaped from jail, his best friend’s obsession with getting revenge on him for his father’s death, having to compete with a new photographer at the Daily Bugle and MJ’s increasingly disastrous acting career. Oh, wait. I forgot that he also has to deal with The Sandman (Thomas Haden Church) and Venom (Topher Grace), the newest enemies to emerge in New York City, a city where freaks apparently flock to. It’s a lot for one man to handle, let alone one man with super human powers. Ultimately, it proved to be too much for another super human to handle, namely returning director, Sam Raimi. Taking over script duty with his brother Ivan, found a lot of interesting themes like revenge and ego woven into the Spidey web but so much going on leaves so little to fully develop. Scenes that would seem pivotal, like when Venom and Sandman decide to team up, end up feeling rushed while scenes that are entirely disposable, like when Spidey’s alter ego, Peter Parker, finds his “Saturday Night Fever” groove strutting down the streets of NYC, seem to go on forever.


While the first SPIDERMAN film, written by David Koepp (rumoured to be returning for SPIDERMAN 4) brought me to tears more than once, there is plenty to enjoy in SPIDERMAN 3 that allows forgiveness for the script problems. People seem to have forgotten that Spidey is here to entertain us. Sure it would be nice to be affected by the words being spoken as well but when the action is as tight and the special effects as vast as in SPIDERMAN 3, it is a pleasure to tune out for a while and enjoy the ride. With three enemies to fight off at any given moment, Spidey finds himself constantly reevaluating his approach. With the New Goblin (James Franco), Spidey has to fend off a very aggressive attacker that he doesn’t truly want to hurt. The Sandman, who enters and exits in a flurrying sandstorm that is a visual kaleidoscope of grain, is at times an insurmountable force. The fact that Spidey can’t effectively hit him only further shows how much energy is wasted on revenge (as he was the man who actually killed his uncle in his pre-Sandman days). And Venom is just plain frightening. Being under the control of the tar-like substance that transforms cocky photographer, Eddie Brock (Grace), into this fanged fright, amplifies all of your aggressive, negative behavior. For Spidey, fighting Venom is like fighting all the parts of himself that he tries so hard to leave behind.


When SPIDERMAN hit theatres a few in 2002, its energy was infectious. Hopes were high and the goods were delivered. Genuine admiration was formed for the hero but like any hero, people eventually want to tear them down out of jealousy. How quickly we forget the love and allow our expectations to be set so high that no one, not even a man who glides gracefully through the sky, could surmount them. Better than the second, not as good the first, SPIDERMAN 3 is falling prey to the audience’s need to be constantly wowed with something bigger and better that eclipses accomplishments that are already awesome. Sure Raimi got himself tangled up in his own overcomplicated web but there is no one who can spin it like he can. And if Raimi, Maguire and Dunst don’t return for future installments, you’ll all be wishing you hadn’t squashed this spider so quickly.