WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Fast Hannah, Furious Diesel

The first time I was ever asked to write a box office report was around this same time last year. I had to report how Miley Cyrus and her alter ego, Hannah Montana, had broken new ground for 3D pictures and concert flicks alike when the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS concert took in over $31 million in what was supposed to be a limited engagement. Taking advantage of the Easter weekend, Disney has unleashed the Cyrus’s first big screen adventure, HANNAH MONTANA THE MOVIE, and proved that you don’t need to lie about limited runs to get people out on opening weekend.


Box office prognosticators debated all week whether HANNAH MONTANA THE MOVIE would be able to topple last week’s unexpected juggernaut, FAST AND FURIOUS. Vin Diesel and Paul Walker may appeal to the ladies out there but the ladies are no match for tween girls. FAST AND FURIOUS managed an almost respectable 60% drop this weekend but its fate was officially sealed when HANNAH MONTANA debuted to $17 million, the biggest opening day ever for a G-rated non-animated film. That one day accounted for 50% of the final weekend gross and allowed America’s newest underage sweetheart to easily slide past F&F’s $28 million. In other holdover news, MONSTERS VS. ALIENS performed strongly in its third week, thanks surely to many kids having Friday off.


Audiences and critics were essentially split on whether OBSERVE AND REPORT was horrifically offensive or hilarious. Either way, this latest Seth Rogen vehicle is his weakest opening besides last fall’s disappointment, ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO. The bad press on this one will likely ring louder than those who actually enjoyed it given the gravity of how offensive it has the potential to be so a quick decline is to be expected. Even though it did debut higher than ZACK AND MIRI, I would expect OBSERVE AND REPORT to gross less in the long run. The week’s only other Top 10 debut belonged to DRAGONBALL EVOLUTION. None too surprisingly, the film fizzled but it had already made over $25 million internationally prior to this domestic release so all is not lost.


The week’s best per screen average belonged to ANVIL! THE STORY OF ANVIL. This well received rockumentary tells the story of two Canadian buddies who made a promise to rock out forever together and have never gone back on that promise. Playing on three screens in all of North America, the film pulled in a decent $11K average. Meanwhile, quirky indie, LYMELIFE, starring Alec Baldwin and Rory Culkin, pulled in an average of over $7K on four screens.

NEXT WEEK: CRANK:HIGH VOLTAGE (2200 screens) will try to make as much as money as possible before its heart explodes; and even though STATE OF PLAY (2700 screens) boasts a cast including Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams and Helen Mirren, I’m pretty sure none of them have as much appeal these days Mr. High School Musical himself, Zac Efron, whose first major starring vehicle, 17 AGAIN debuts on over 3000 screens. Screaming girls everywhere will flock to see him; I may join them.

Source: Box Office Mojo

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Escape 2 the Bank

Wow. I totally missed this one. I knew the Dreamworks MADAGASCAR sequel would do well, that it would be the king of the forest, or desert or wild kingdom or whatever the African animals preside over but I did not see this much money coming its way. MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA outpaced the original right out of the cage, I mean gate, on Friday with $17 million. It then went on to crush every competitor out there, with its mammoth $63.5 million haul (compared to a first weekend of $47 million for the first outing) but audiences showed up in meerkat or lemur or lemming or “whatever that thing that likes to move it, move it is” size numbers for many other titles as well, making this a huge early jump to the holiday season.


Another title that surpassed expectations this week, hold its own very well against the family friends toon, was ROLE MODELS. The comedy, starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott, skews slightly older but does certainly have a kid-friendly appeal to it, making its near $20 million take pretty impressive considering the competition. Rudd, who incidentally also co-wrote the screenplay, does not usually place himself in lead roles but this success will certainly make that more likely in the future. Meanwhile, Scott got some much needed love that has been lacking for him with recent misses like THE PROMOTION or MR. WOODCOCK.


The only other Top 10 debut this week was an unfortunate misfire for Bernie Mac’s last screen work before his death earlier this fall, SOUL MEN. This film opened in sixth place, thanks to strong holds for CHANGELING and ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO that shut it out of the Top 5. This title is a sure fire rental hit so audiences will get their chance to see Mac’s last show before this title drifts into obscurity but it would have been nice for his memory to be honoured in a larger fashion.


Below the Top, this week’s biggest success story was THE BOY IN STRIPED PAJAMAS. The WWII story about two boys, one on each side of a fence to a concentration camp, pulled in $15K per screen for the second highest per screen average of any film this week, behind the MADAGASCAR sequel. The most unlikely of art house heroes, Jean Claude van Damme saw a promising start for his self-referential fictionalized account of his current life, JCVD. The film opened to $11K per screen on just two locations. I’VE LOVED YOU SO LONG, SYNECDOCHE NEW YORK and NOAH’S ARC: JUMPING THE BROOM continued to pull in averages just below $10K. And, the wedding of the year, RACHEL GETTING MARRIED, added another 258 screens, bringing it ever so closer to the Top 10 with a 133% increase. If you haven’t RSVP’d to this one already, you should get on that. You wouldn’t want to miss this dessert table.


NEXT WEEK: Huge week! Only one major mass market release and one art house release worth noting. What? That doesn’t seem huge? Well, you haven‘t considered the titles we’re talking about here. For the art crowd, the audience winner at this year’s TIFF, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, from Danny Boyle. And for the masses, Bond, James Bond, in QUANTUM OF SOLACE. They didn’t even try to counter program. Welcome back, Mr. Bond.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: High School Trick or Treaters

I happened to be out on Halloween night on a way to a friend’s place for some good eats and leftover candy. I couldn’t help but notice the obscene amount of teenagers parading around in costumes. When was Halloween taken away from the kids? Oblivious selfishness aside, the high number of teenage trick or treaters certainly explains why HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 placed fifth on Friday, plummeting nearly 90% week on week. Still, all those teenagers went home that night, overdosed on candy and bounced their way back to the theatres throughout the rest of the weekend, sending the Disney juggernaut back to the top of a mild frame.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 fended off ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO this weekend to remain on top despite an overall drop of 64%. The front-heavy title was expected to drop off drastically and the numbers it posted Friday led many to believe it would lose its place as king of the prom. By the end of the weekend though, ZACK AND MIRI, its closest competitor, missed by nearly $5 million. The R-rated Kevin Smith directed pic only managed a third place finish on Friday and finished with a modest $10 million, when prognosticators were expecting closer to the high teens. On average, it performed below HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL as well so its lower turnout cannot be simply chalked up to a lesser theatre count or its R-rating. Maybe had Smith made an actual porno, he would have a fared better.


The film that opened better than ZACK AND MIRI on Friday was the unexpected CHANGELING. The first of two Clint Eastwood films expected this year stars Angelina Jolie and drew in big adult crowds despite the critical split on the film’s merits. CHANGELING pulled in the highest per screen average of any film in the Top 10 but saw its returns dwindle throughout the course of the weekend so this latest Jolie Oscar bait looks to be going the same route as last summer’s A MIGHTY HEART.


Not surprisingly, the number one movie on Halloween was SAW V. This would mark the first time a SAW film climbed to number one in its second frame. Overall though, it still dropped off a frightening 66% and is trailing SAW 4 by about 10%. In fact, this is definitely the least successful SAW since the inaugural gorefest. Meanwhile, SAW VI is currently in development.


Below the Top 10, a number of arthouse pictures performed to varying results. The most notable was Guy Ritchie’s ROCKNROLLA expansion. The film was playing to diminishing results in limited release and added 807 screens this week to find itself with a poor take of $1.75 million. It’s $2K average was a far cry from a number of other limited runs. RACHEL GETTING MARRIED dropped off less than 2% in its fourth frame. The Jonathan Demme Oscar contender has grossed a total of $3.8 million so far. Mike Leigh’s HAPPY-GO-LUCKY added another 41 screens and saw its gross increase by another 65% over last weekend. Kristen Scott Thomas’s performance is I’VE LOVED YOU SO LONG is getting rave reviews and those reviews are driving in the audiences. The film added another 11 screens this week and saw it’s gross improve by 110%. Still, higher averages can be found for the Charlie Kaufman film, SYNECHDOCHE NEW YORK ($11K) and surprisingly, NOAH’S ARC: JUMPING THE BROOM ($14K).

NEXT WEEK: Opening on nearly 4000 screens, there will be no match for MADAGASCAR 2. Two other comedies will compete for different male demographics – the white bred ROLE MODELS, starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott and the urban skewed SOUL MEN, starring Samuel L. Jackson and the late Bernie Mac.

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO

Written and Directed by Kevin Smith
Starring Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Jason Mewes, Craig Robinson and Ricky Mabe


Zack Brown: Everybody wants to see anybody fuck. I hate Rosie O’Donnell but if somebody said, “I got a tape of Rosie O’Donnell getting fucked stupid,” I’d be like, “Why the fuck aren’t we watching that right now?”

Just in time for Halloween, one of the original independent filmmakers, Kevin Smith, gives us something truly frightening … Seth Rogen in a porno. No offence to Seth; I think he’s cuddly and all but porn material, I think not. Or maybe I’ve just been out of the straight porn-watching world for so long that this is what porn has come to. That said, I doubt I’ll be making a trip to my local video shop later to catch up on everything I’ve missed. What’s that? I don’t have to leave my home for this sort of fare anymore? It is all readily available online at the click of my mouse? And what? I’m supposed to be talking about Smith’s latest mild chuckle fest, ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO? I thought we were discussing film worth leaving the house for. ZACK AND MIRI is not that film. Maybe you could download it, I guess.


Zack and Miri may be making a porno but it is Kevin Smith making another lazy film that we should be focusing on. See, Smith is hoping that his sensational premise is enough to get you laughing ecstatically. He is primarily hoping for this because this way he can pass off his tired characters and simple jokes as something brand new, something no one has ever tackled in film before. Actually, that is giving him too much credit. The truth of the matter is that Kevin Smith is one of the most overrated filmmakers making movies today. He’d probably be the first to agree with me. This is because Smith doesn’t really care about his work and you can feel it in every cliché his characters exist and every joke he sets up. How else can you explain married couple characters who yell at each other incessantly and complain even more so about how horrific and sexless marriage is? Or a party sequence where the camera doesn’t move while we jump cut from one dancing fool to the next in full frame? And how can anyone these days justify using the word “faggot” as a meaningless insult, tossed around irresponsibly? Limited is the first word that comes to my mind.


Getting back to Zack and Miri (Rogen and the luminous Elizabeth Banks), they are the most enjoyable and charismatic things about this film. Zack and Miri have been friends forever and never have they crossed that scary line and stepped into the realm of sex between friends. They live together, if you want to call their situation living. They’re months behind on their rent; their electricity and water have been shut off; and neither one has a job that can actually get them out of this mess they’ve found themselves in. Naturally, they turn to the world of pornography for salvation. After all, they just found out that they have access to hundreds of contacts on their high school alumni mailing list that will no doubt jump at the chance to see this infamously platonic twosome finally get it on. I don’t know about you but if I was so down on my luck that I needed to make porn to bail myself, I’m pretty positive that the high school acquaintances that teased and taunted me at my most fragile moments would not be the first people I would be peddling my wares to. In fact, they would be right up there with my mom.


The irony of ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO is that Kevin Smith should feel right at home with the kinds of lower production values pornography calls for. In fact, I think I may have seen amateur porn that is subtler and more original than this film. It is not without its charm or its laughs but ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO is as forgettable as most of Smith’s work and not nearly as intriguing as actual porn.

Black Sheep Previews: ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO

Seriously people ... who among you has not been there before? Your heat just got shut off; you're two months behind on the rent; and you're ten years out of high school and still selling coffee to loads of people doing way better than you. You've got to get out of this horrible hole! And then it hits you. What can you do that requires very little talent, will be loads of fun and has a built-in audience guaranteed to make you the big money? That's right, baby! You too can make porn! You can make porn, sell it on the internet and solve all your troubles. Let me tell you, if Zack and Miri can do it, so can you.

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO is the latest chef d'oeuvre from everyone's favorite amateur filmmaker working in the big boys' world, Kevin Smith. It stars unlikely Hollywood it-boy, Seth Rogen and Mrs. Laura Bush herself, Elizabeth Banks. The twosome play roommates in some horrifically freezing American city who pretty much fall into the rut I described above. Now, Smith has never been known for his tact or restraint so give him the freedom to explore the good, clean world of pornographic filmmaking and you can almost certainly expect a multitude of moments that'll get your jaw dropping. This also marks a departure for Rogen. Up until now, the man has been firmly attached to Judd Apatow produced projects whenever he's been a leading man. Now, it's time to let another boy in a man's body take control apparently.


ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO made its debut at this year's Toronto International Film Festival and delighted audiences. The rest of us regular folk will get the chance to see it when it goes nationwide on October 31. Click HERE for more information.