THE HANGOVER

Written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore
Directed by Todd Phillips
Starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galafinakis and Heather Graham


Stu Price: Why are you peppering the steak? You don’t even know if tigers like pepper.
Alan Garner: Tigers love pepper. It’s cinnamon they don’t like.

I think its fair to say that anyone who will see THE HANGOVER knows the pain of waking up to the birds chirping cheerfully outside and the sun shining brightly through the curtains, all the while wishing that it would all go away so you can sink into the hell you brought upon yourself. I myself have certainly shuffled back and forth between my bed and the toilet more mornings that I care to recall. What I don’t understand though is why anyone who does know this excruciating pain would choose to visit it voluntarily on the big screen. While watching THE HANGOVER does not inspire the same kind of nausea as a night of serious drinking, it does capture the subdued tone of the dreaded morning after pretty well. I stopped drinking excessively specifically to avoid this tone and THE HANGOVER is nowhere near a good enough reason to go back there.


From the moment THE HANGOVER begins, the voice is unmistakable. A wedding is being set up, from the flowers at the ends of the aisles to the frilly icing on the cake. As we know that we are about to watch a buddy movie where four guys get wild and rowdy on a Las Vegas bachelor party, there is no question that director, Todd Phillips, is speaking distinctly to the men out there and that the beautiful floral arrangements and final wedding details are meant to be ridiculed. Look at how preposterous all these finishing touches are, men. Aren’t women completely out of their heads for spending so much time on all of this? Let’s go get drunk already. If you’re the type of man who thinks that tired and immensely ignorant setup is hilarious than you may very well love THE HANGOVER. After all, it isn’t long after this that you get to delight in the demonizing of women as every one we meet is controlling, manipulative and callous. It’s all very modern bride.


THE HANGOVER is not about the women though; it is all about the men and their bond. The trouble is that I didn’t see anything remotely redeeming about this sad pack of losers. The groom himself, Doug (Justin Bartha), is completely uninteresting but that doesn’t matter as he is misplaced for the majority of the film. His impending brother-in-law, Alan (Zach Galafinakis) is a fat, furry troll of a man who is socially inept to the point of extreme discomfort – painful awkwardness is always a pleasure to watch on screen. Doug’s buddy Phil (Bradley Cooper) is ruggedly handsome but he steals field trip money from his elementary school class to spend at the tables and has zero respect or appreciation for his wife and child so it isn’t so easy to find him endearing. In fact, the only one of the bunch that is remotely winning is Ed Helms as Stu Price. Of course, Stu is completely whipped so you’ve got to love the guy. Poor thing has to answer to someone else; it is so horrible that people should be expected to be held accountable to the person they claim to love.

Frankly, I couldn’t have cared less what happened to these guys as I wish that less guys like this actually existed. Really, how am I supposed to root for guys who are so dumb that they would leave a baby in a parked car alone? While Philips is savvy enough to structure THE HANGOVER so that we piece the mysterious evening together at the same time as they do, it all amounts to these unappealing characters going from scenario to extreme scenario asking people if they remember anything about their interactions from the night before. It also doesn’t amount to very many laughs so maybe the real hangover isn’t from a heavy night of drinking but rather an excessive indulgence in overdone average dumb guy comedy.

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BOBBY

Written and directed by Emilio Estevez


Can’t you imagine it? Frazzled, sitting around in a housecoat at a motel outside of Los Angeles, writer/director/actor, Emilio Estevez, puts out his cigarette and picks up the phone.

“Can I get an outside line?” Moments later, he dials the number and swallows nervously while he waits for her to pick up.

Finally, the phone is answered but it isn’t her. “Whadup,” says the man’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Uh, hi. Is, uh, is Demi around?”

“Yeah, hold up.” He drops the phone clumsily to the floor. The sound of his bellowing can be heard getting more faint as he walks further away from the dangling telephone. “Baaaaaaabe! Phone!”

Emilio is waiting. This isn’t unusual, he thinks to himself. We’ve had some good times. There’s no reason why I should be nervous. He hears the phone being handled.

“Hello?”

There’s the voice he’s been waiting to hear. “Demi, hi. It’s Emilio.”

“Rodriguez?”

“No. No, it’s Emilio Estevez.”

“Jesus! Emilio! How the hell are you?” She doesn’t wait for him to answer. “What has it been already?” Again, she doesn’t wait. “I heard you moved to some motel to become a hermit or something.”

“Well, not exactly. I am at a hotel but I’m writing.”

“Writing? Wow. That’s … Wow. God, you haven’t written a movie since ‘Men at Work’.”

“Yeah, I know. This one’s different though, better, much. I’m writing a movie about the Ambassador Hotel, on the day that Bobby Kennedy was shot.”

“Uh-huh.”

He was hoping for a little more but this would have to do. “I’m having a bit of a hard time getting the money together to make it though.”

“Oh, honey, I’m not looking for a project to invest in right now.”

“No, no. I’m not asking you for any money. There’s a part I thought you might like. And I figured if I get enough people on board, the funding might come a little easier.”

“A part? Hmmm. Well, who else is doin’ it?”

“A few people. Heather Graham, Bill Macy, Helen Hunt, Larry Fishburn, Sharon Stone.”

“Wow. Anybody else?” He could tell she was coming around.

“Uh, yeah. Tony Hopkins, Christian Slater, Dad.”

“Aw, I love your father. What’s the part?” He knew he could tell her almost anything now. It didn’t matter. He had her.



“You would play Virginia Fallon. She’s a popular singer who frequently plays the hotel. She’s a total drunk too.” He hesitates for a moment. “And she’s concerned that the public doesn’t really care so much for her anymore, y’know, because of her … age.” He waits for it but it’s oddly quiet.

“Ageing, hmmm.” Suddenly, All Emilio could hear were the teenagers hitting the ice machine down the hall. Then, she finally spoke. “I bet you I could get an Oscar out of this. An actress not afraid to play her age, or at least close to it. And a drunk! I’m as good as there!”

“Yeah! There’s this great scene between you and Sharon. She is going to play the hotel stylist. She’s doing your hair and your nails. You’re drunk. She’s tired. And the two of you just talk about how nobody wants you when you’re a woman of a certain age.”

“Yeah, that sounds great but I have the better lines, right? I would hate to see her walk away with my nod.”

“Demi, please. You know she’s got nothing on you.” He didn’t know he could be such a convincing liar. Even more so in retrospect, given that Stone is the only actor featured in BOBBY to be getting any Oscar attention.

“Aw, Emilio, thanks. I’ll have to check my schedule but I should be good. So, what’s the whole thing about?” she asks after the fact.

“Well, it’s really about the death of all the necessary social and political change that Bobby represented. The last 15 minutes are gonna have everybody ballin’ their eyes out. Bobby gives his speech at the hotel and then gets shot in the kitchen. People won’t know what hit ‘em. I mean, they’ll know it’s coming but it’s still gonna be rough.”

The level of excitement in his voice is like that of a young boy. Demi is familiar with this enthusiasm. She is also wise enough to know to scale it back. “Ok but what about the hour and half that comes before the end? What happens there?”

Emilio snaps out of his zone. “Well, stuff obviously.” He hears the defensive tone in his voice. “I mean, there are so many people in this movie and so many hotel guests. It’s got so many possibilities for different things going on.”

“Alright, that’s interesting. It’s got an Altman-esque quality to it. And I guess all the different stories somehow connect with each other or have some deeper level of significance. It will be an indirect criticism on today’s society, right?”

He had not thought about bridging the divide between the centuries for his wide variety of characters. He always thought Kennedy himself would take care of that. Having the cast involved in topical and symbolic plots complicates things. Having them involved in more random, dramatic situations was a lot easier. When he thought of tying everything together in other ways than just through Kennedy’s assassination, it made him feel that his script might be weak. He didn’t like to think about that. He also didn’t want to admit it.

“Of course. Plus I managed to sign that Lindsay Lohan everyone talks about and that guy who played Frodo. There will be so many faces in this film, people won’t know where to look. And I’m planning all this moving camera aesthetic. People will be so dizzy, a good dizzy of course. And there are the costumes! I’m thinking big hair for you.”

“God, I love big hair." You could hear her smile through the phone. "Alright, I’ll have my agent call you, on one condition.”

“Name it. I really want you in this.”

“Can you put Ashton in the picture? I need to separate him from his PS3 for a while. Y’know, give the kids a chance to play.”

“I need a stoner drug dealer part filled still. Do you think he can do that?”

“Yes, I think a stoner would be fine,” she said flatly.

“Great, than it’s settled. One last thing … Do you think you could give Bruce a call?”

“Don’t push it, Emilio.”

The call now made, Emilio sits back down to the blank page in his typewriter and stares out the window.